Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Beginnings
First I need to write that I am a terrible speller. Please note that this fact will not stop me. So if you get uptight about these things I suggest you read some other blog. Mine will only annoy you. It's January and we're not even close to getting to Honduras. Not that a lot of headway has not already been made. The most primary came a few weeks back.
Near the end of December my wife and I discerned again. If you are unfamiliar with discernment it is simply a big word for thinking through. It's a little more than that due to evaluating the thinking to discover if resonates well with one's direction. On a simple level it is simply thinking about.
It's daunting to think about going on Mission. We have three kids and while everything has not been easy we have been comfortable. The thought of leaving that (or striving for anything new) with three children to go to a different country that we do not know brings the inevitable fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of something happening to the children. Committing to act when the pieces are not even complete.
Our first discernment about going to Our Little Roses occurred this fall. We talked about it a few times. We prayed (a little). We agreed it would be necessary for me to get Spanish and how it would help my eldest Henny relearn the Spanish he knew as a little boy in Miami. From those humble beginnings I applied to SCOM to get the funds to go to Honduras.
SCOM rejected our grant proposal. Now what? We were rejected. At the time it did not seem like a good result. I had made plans and the rejection was not helping those plans. Looking back even a few weeks it was good that we were rejected. Our dependence was linked to SCOM and not to God. We had not really listened to ourselves. We began too. Even in rejection we began to see that we were still being called. This is important for myself as a person preparing to become a clergy but there is more than that. We discovered that this is important for our family. We need to walk together to be a part of the girls lives down in Honduras. Our children need to see them and know them. My eldest has gotten comfortable with western trappings and needs to be exposed to life not so materially secure. So we discerned again. It was here that we discovered that this really is the next right step.
Near the end of December my wife and I discerned again. If you are unfamiliar with discernment it is simply a big word for thinking through. It's a little more than that due to evaluating the thinking to discover if resonates well with one's direction. On a simple level it is simply thinking about.
It's daunting to think about going on Mission. We have three kids and while everything has not been easy we have been comfortable. The thought of leaving that (or striving for anything new) with three children to go to a different country that we do not know brings the inevitable fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of something happening to the children. Committing to act when the pieces are not even complete.
Our first discernment about going to Our Little Roses occurred this fall. We talked about it a few times. We prayed (a little). We agreed it would be necessary for me to get Spanish and how it would help my eldest Henny relearn the Spanish he knew as a little boy in Miami. From those humble beginnings I applied to SCOM to get the funds to go to Honduras.
SCOM rejected our grant proposal. Now what? We were rejected. At the time it did not seem like a good result. I had made plans and the rejection was not helping those plans. Looking back even a few weeks it was good that we were rejected. Our dependence was linked to SCOM and not to God. We had not really listened to ourselves. We began too. Even in rejection we began to see that we were still being called. This is important for myself as a person preparing to become a clergy but there is more than that. We discovered that this is important for our family. We need to walk together to be a part of the girls lives down in Honduras. Our children need to see them and know them. My eldest has gotten comfortable with western trappings and needs to be exposed to life not so materially secure. So we discerned again. It was here that we discovered that this really is the next right step.
